Hi Michele! Don't really have a question here, just a comment on using 180's when dealing with a depressed spouse.

I've found that your suggestion about "acting-as-if" my W wasn't depressed works great! To take that idea one step farther........

Just recently, I was involved in a kind of sticky situation where I work. It was during a time when my W was rather "blue", and I usually would have dealt with it inside of myself, even IF W was 100% ok. Instead, I shared my problem with her, and used her as a sounding board.

Some of the problem was in an area she is quite familiar with, and quite good at. After talking with her, she suddenly became "energized", and began putting together materials to help me out. She became enthused, and came to life focusing on MY problem instead of hers.

The next day, I found some cards and notes in the material, words of encouragement, of praise, and of love. Seems like letting her help me with my problems this time created a change from our normal interactions, helped her feel a sense of worth, and added another tool in the "more-of-what-works" treasure chest.

Hope this helps someone else out there. Thanks for all of YOUR help, Michele!!

[ October 24, 2001: Message edited by: Jamesjohn ]


JJ

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