Michele, in reference to yazzie girl's reply, I wonder if LRT's and 180s can be taken too far. I'm curious about your advice to her.
For my situation, I'm no longer overreacting (or trying not to). I'm at the part in the book to "do what works even if it seems unfair." On one level, the marriage worked. We both avoided conflict, which made life appear okay on the surface. I know H and I can probably have that type of R again, but I'd like to have a more intimate R. So...my goal is to do what worked (be giving and undemanding) and do it without regretting it, but (and this is a big but), try to do it with balance in mind. I'll go back and do what I think worked but won't attach any expectations to it. I will rely on myself for my own happiness. I can be nice without being a doormat.
