Ian asked me to throw my hat in the ring Luke - hope you don't mind. To be honest, I'm not up to date on your thread so I'll stick to the discussion of "being a man". In my opinion, being a man can mean several things. Let's face it, there are all types of men...just like there are all type of people - a$$hole's included. I think the real question is, what type of man does your W want you to be and are you comfortable being that type of man for her? Frank D is fantastic and giving advice on this - I would jump over to read up on some of his stuff. Personally, my W swears up and down that she wants to be a strong independent person but I know a part of her wants a strong man to almost, at times, take charge and tell her what she needs to do.
So what does she want Luke? Does she want you to be a rock (strong but quite)? Does she want you to be compassionate and listen (caring and soothing)? Does she want you to speak your mind (strong but open)? It does sound as thought it may be the third option to some degree but again I don't really know your sitch. She may want you to take more of a stand and express your emotions - not in a crying, sad way - but in a stonger affirmative way. If so - are you comfortable being that person? If not then you need to try and meet somewhere in the middle.
Not sure if you have read the 5 Love Languages book (if not, you should) but think of it in that regard. There are a lot of ways to show someone you love them and there are a lot of ways to be a man. However you have to know what type of man your wife wants you to be and then, if you can, be that man. That said, you will probably at different times have to be all those things. For example, just because my W's love language may be Affirmation doesn't mean I don't buy her a present on Mother's Day. Make sense?
