I was out of town this past weekend for a wedding, in a cold Philadelphia...
Let me try to help you see where your wife was coming from, in regards to the friend's dinner invitation.
Your wife was tired from her flight and obviously wanted to spend her evening at home. When the invitation came to have dinner, she didn't want to go...so, she turned to you, to handle it. Yes, you had to pack for the trip, to California - but that could be done anytime, in the evening. Her "white lie" was more specific, b/c it required all of you being home, eating dinner. Thus, you really couldn't go at all.
Her disappointment was that (1) you didn't "listen" to her view (2) you now, had to go.
To counteract, you might want to say to her...out of the blue...that you "just figured out, why her excuse was more rational" than yours. Laugh a little, then apologize, and explain how "silly you were" in not seeing this. Then, forget about it.
As far as diving off a cliff, she needs to respect your choice, in not doing that. I wouldn't do it either. If it's ever brought up, or something similar, nicely explain that she respects your decision.
It wasn't such a bad or big deal...don't worry about any of this...continue on with your PMA. She's probably even forgotten about it...just don't walk on eggshells.
I'm glad you're back, now start planning the party!!!