good to hear from you again - I appreciate your thoughts -
yes, maybe she does know I know, and I don't need to confront her ... the note and the book were signals...
of course, if there is no softening after another chunk of DB, then maybe a confrontation is what she wants...
That wording 'let her go' was wrong - I am not a macho guy at all - rather I meant that I don't do anything to keep her here and actually encourage her to go places, in this case nearly always for work (her choice). Maybe it will help her get a better self image, working and making money; she currently makes only a fraction of my salary, which can't be good for a proud person... I always told her that renovating our old house here, and so adding value to it, is also making money, but that isn't really the same... I am the chief cook in the family (she said 'you've taken over the kitchen'; it was actually a way to keep myself busy and useful in the early stages of our estrangement) , so the classic woman = kitchen and child caretaker and homebody thing is at least somewhat defused in our M.
So fun is what is needed? Or is at least a good thing for this relationship potion...
How is the hair going, Osu43130?
Just had a pleasant SMS from W, so a good time to hit the sack (going on midnight here)
Cheers from the dark north,
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
Give her the Kitchen back. You need to listen to her. If she said that bothered her let her cook sometimes. My hair worked like a charm got her to smile and it is still orange.....Kinda funny if you ask me. Humor is a great cure for almost anything.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
Holy sh!t, Luke! You are the male encyclopedia of amazing romantic ideas to spice up your M. Most guys say "I dunno" when asked what they could do to take things up a notch. I am truly impressed. You can't lose. Can you fix my M now? I also agree with waiting to confront her. Again, you can do that anytime, there's no rush. Try the backdoor first.
By the way here is my sitch. It is long but should be pretty interesting for you. There is a link to the beginning of mine once you get to the current thread. Take care buddy.Confused Wife Part II
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
Well, after 1000 miles of driving to and from northern Sweden, where we picked up an old porcelain stove, I've had some time to think about possible ideas to surprise my W. Here they are - do they seem on the right wavelength?
1. a nice dinner in the city, just the two of us, followed by a walk to overnight on a yacht that has been converted into a hotel, in separate rooms (no pressure), but with a single red rose in hers. If absence makes the heart grow fonder, then maybe separate rooms does too... 2. spend a weekend in Ireland or London (there are seriously cheap flights from here), to a show or a museum, dinner at a curry joint or Irish pub, the kids with friends 3. stay overnight at an island hotel or hostel with dinner, some place where you can hear, smell and feel the sea. The archipelago near here has a bunch of such places, maybe even involving hiking to the hotel from the ferry, adding adventure.
I remember people telling us to reserve and spend one night a week, every week, with just each other a long time ago, but we never did it. In retrospect that seems good advice.
Clear night with stars - more like this and it is soon time for all boats to come out of the water -
More tomorrow after office is finished and brain is not fogged from driving -
Luke
ps. The interesting part of OM is that he has novelty on his side, both as a person and for being in a new place. I can only somewhat hope to match that. My he have at least as many character flaws in him as I do...
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
How is it that we guys all seem to get that advice "spend time together, as a couple, every week" and we somehow never got it! Life just seems to push it to the back of the mind and it gets lost. I know my W always saw it as my job to be romantic... I disagreed and felt it to be a mutual thing, but it doesn't matter anymore in my sitch! Glad you are pushing forward. Your plans sound great.
Just a quickie - W is in shower now - she came home last night and didn't discover my clean office until this morning. Seemed pleased - "I see you cleaned your workroom really well" - a positive reaction. Wonder what she will think when she sees the new porcelain stove and freshly hung up laundry down cellar, where the shower is.
Baby steps from a rainy Sweden -
Later -
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
