she sounds like a very strong woman who knows what she wants.
I still think given the info you provided, you need to let her know what you know. maybe you can tell her you want a new relationship with her, and part of that is a 0 tolerance for lies. tell her she can tell you anything as long as it's the truth.. start by letting her know that you know, matter of fact like with no emotion, then see hw she responds. if she contines to hold on to her story, then end the conversation. (Boundary style)!
There isnt a need for a big blow-up. just start the honesty thing at stick to it. everytime you catch her in a lie, just end the conversation. I did this, it drove my wife crazy, but after a few times of me ending a conversation and walking away, she stopped lieing to me. on the flip side, her being honest sometimes was a kick in the jimmy. but I'd rather get kicked by truth than by a lie.
