Hi Michelle, After 8 months of C my W finally came clean and said she has been living in fear of me. I have become an angry person over the last 5 years, and I didn't even know it. Partly because of my wife but mostly because of me. She told me she is tired of feelinf that tenseness when I become angry at anything. She wants a D and has told her family and two close friends. She has conquered a lot of her demons through C, her sisters death to cancer, being so far from her family and a host of other things. I find it odd, that she is still in the house, still sleeping in our bed, and still wears her wedding band. She has told me we can never be more than friends, and she doesn't want to hurt me. She also said that in the past she used sex to manipulate situations where I might become angry. That is hard to hear because in the same breathe she said she hated having sex with me but once she was in the mood it was very satisfying. So the sex thing is a big block for her, and something we have yet to talk about in therapy. I doubt whether we will because I am going alone now for my anger and my wife has indicated that she canot go with me because she feels like she will be doing more of the same which was trying to controll me. That is what she saw as her job in this marriage as a manager of me. I know that is a lot to comprehend, but deep down I know my wife is not sure about anything right now. Do you think she is still here becuase she is waiting to see how things play out?
