I am sorry to hear about your separation - it must be painful. Sometimes I think that all this hard feeling DB is just a prelude to the really difficult stuff - now that he/she finally is physically back, how do we rebuild a good relationship? But healing the separation comes first of course.
Yes, I agree and think that honesty is better, and now instead will let her draw her own conclusions (she will see a clean office, with all the papers gone, and maybe - admittedly erroneously - think I found it then) instead of saying that I found it while she was gone.
I think the confrontation will have two parts - her confession/opening up and my reaction. Both parts are important, but the second in particular concerns me. I could just walk away in disgust and not say anything or tell her it might be better for her to move out or simply say that sleeping around is not alright with me. In any case, I want to be reasonably true to myself, make her respect me a bit more if possible, and also simply shift things away from the current emotionless stasis.
What do you think an appropriate reaction should be? Saying it is not alright with me has the virture of being open ended, with unclear consequences. Do you think the conversation will have other parts? Is there anything else important to say? Is the game plan incomplete?
By the way, on a somewhat humorous note, I am also of German extraction (first generation American, from German parents) - maybe my wife has a weak spot there -
Good luck with your sitch.
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
