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Would it help if you privately asked you daughter to talk with MIL about issuing a specific invite to you and BB?


I already did that through our daughter and that is one reason BB is so set on not going. BB's thinking if you have to ask or talk about anything like who, when, or where, the host really doesn't want you to come.

MIL called and "did" invite us. Because I asked for clarification, tried to eliminate any miss understandings, now I am the one too dumb to see that I am a meddler and people really don't wants us to come to their party. It's like the gift thing. If they have to tell you what the want for their bday or other occasion, it PO some people.

I say this with a smile because BB goes off the deep end and if I let things cool down, some reason eventually comes creeping back.
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prevail upon you to bring that lovely pie,


Yes, I asked if I could bring something. I talked to MIL which was another mistake but BB wasn't home at the time. I don't want to have MIL do work BB should be doing so am going to let the subject drop. The more I want to fix something, the more BB sees it as me controlling the situation and screwing things up.

Thanksgiving is my bday so BB just asked me where I wanted to go for dinner. She suggested one place but I said she doesn't like buffet, that is what and how they serve on holidays so we are going to Applebee's or something similar.

Karen1, the "Divorce Care" program could easily be made in to a M recovery program so don't think so much along the lines of D, but M recovery and personal healing by letting some things go that are beyond our control.

Lou