Quote: How did you turn my fantasy that you run away into a reproach concerning the content of your posts?
Because I post problems and maybe I should have posted more about good interactions. I can see this latest rounds of things not improving much, makes what happens feel like the R is really messed up but yet it wouldn't take much to improve things so we both were more at peace.
Several months ago, I bought the "Keep Love Alive" (KLA) CD from Divorce Busters. Michelle speaks on the CD's and advises to look for the good in a R, focus on what you want, ignore most of what isn't working. that could have influenced me to write the third option.
Quote: All I meant was that I have this fantasy for you that you simply stop going down that cheeseless tunnel, chipping away at the mountain of BB's little complaints,
That is a good fantasy Lil.
Quote: Let her manage on her own! Leave the sinking ship and save yourself.
I did tell her if she wanted to buy that patio home she wants, I would install the diesel generator before I went on a long vacation. I wasn't proud I said it but was proud I didn't worry too much about jumping in to the ring yesterday at Costco and buy the generator.
Quote: It looks like you are drowning in a sea of nit-picky minutia
It feels that way many times. Then I think, about not buying into nit-pick games.
What I see, is years of me doing things BB's way to avoid conflict and be the household leader w/o being domineering in a mean spirited or selfish way. Now I have to reverse a trend I was caught up in for many years. I can imagine BB doesn't like some of changes. I still think she is in withdraw a little from her shopping addiction days.
Quote: She is NOT going to get to the level of sexual interest that you want-- I think that's pretty clear.
I have come to that conclusion too. That is hard to take some times. Add on to that, sometimes I know what I know is sexual pleasure to me, is sexual aversion to BB. It is difficult to be sexual with someone you don't want to hurt or impose upon.
Quote: I'm not just complimenting you-- I'm asking you to take a look at yourself realistically and your life realistically and ask yourself: is this how I want to spend the next 20 to 25 years...?
I still have work to do on me, on the R, and on the house, before I look too far in the future. I am not discounting any ideas or wishes you have.
One of my car sold today for $1,500, so that is one less sore spot to have come up between us.
