___________________________________________________________ I agree some of his stuff was roundabout and flowery. You should read the stuff he writes for women though. You can see samples of it on his website. I checked it out and thought to myself...' Who talks like this? What the heck is he saying? HOW can women derive any lesson/knowledge from that.. Makes romance novels look positively conversational. __________________________________________________________
Made me HOT! Everything you are saying is true but his stuff hit me on such a gut level, even the flowery stuff - remember that the next time you feel silly approaching a woman in a way that she likes but you don't really understand.
I read ' The Way of the Superior Man.' I remember reading thru that and really admiring the way he didnt pull any punches or allow PCness to hinder his comments on the 'truths' he has encountered. Probably 'Its A Guy Thing' would be more useful for you though, since you are looking for solutions and understanding.
I wish I would have taken Karen and Lils suggestion to read him nearly a year ago.
Ill be reading more of his stuff, first up 'Blue Truth'.
Quote: I also have never written in a book. I cant stand books with highlighting and margin scribble.
I never did until this hot young single female professor, a little older than my daughter, schooled us retread, 40+years of age students, who said we were tooo slow to learn the college work and were convinced couldn't keep up with the "KIDS" in the class.
Out came the Hi-lighters, note cards/home made flash cards, and study classes before lectures and after lectures. Can I say top 5% of the class. I have been marking [my] books since.
Quote: chapter 8 or 9? about pushing your edge made me hang my head. So that was good.
I agree, pushing the edge but also knowing what is too much is the way to go.
I watched a TV program about U2 spy planes at very high altitude. It was said with-in some speed range the pilot flies the plane. Lets say that speed range is only 20 knots/23 MPH.
Below the lower speed range, the plane loses altitude, and at the top of the speed range, the plane does something that eventually becomes destructive.
My point is, a person should push his limits but be aware of what type of skills he has and the type of equipment he is working with. I know I am not the type of person to take on a U2 type of problem. I also know if I limit myself to walking every where, taking the easy way all of the time, that method isn't going to build my ability to problem solve.
Quote: You should read the stuff he writes for women though....He Makes Stig's writing look linear and straight to the point.
I enjoyed Stig's posts but I wouldn't try to write like he did. It takes a personality that is willing to take more risks, willing to make more assumptions, and a person that promotes their POV stronger than I am skilled.
When it comes to relationships and male/female dynamics, there are so many variables. I like to know about the theories and variables. Many I can use.
Quote: You should read the stuff he writes for women though.
And I start to think, prove a woman's eye's are like pools of water(not Deida) in my mini scientific-lab-like-mind. Then I ask my-self, will it hold up in court????? Me, ?? Too serious?? Maybe?
Now that doesn't mean I cant tell someone tell some one how much their company means to me, how I admire some skill or trait they have, or what I feel about them.
I am re-reading Deida. Going over the things I understand and can implement possibly in a more constructive manner.
I still have trouble with the chapter about a man's purpose is more important than his family. That doesn't work for me, assuming the family isn't selfish or seriously dysfunctional.
That part of the book isn't what I need to work on right now, so it is not important.
Quote: remember that the next time you feel silly approaching a woman in a way that she likes but you don't really understand
I keep that in mind Karen. Maybe I am trying to avoid coming across as an actor, or someone that does flip flops with their emotions.
Quote: Made me HOT!
Sometimes I wish I could feel what some women feel just too know what their feed-back loop would feel like.
I can touch my elbow with my opposite hand and have two feelings I sense. If I touch someone else's elbow with my hand, I know how it feels to me, I can imaging how it feels to the OP but I really don't know.
Granted, when with someone romantically there are certain clues I sense. When the O is not in a lust/romantic state the clues/feedback signals are not always readable.
Two possibilities here. the OP doesn't give off readable signals (not strong enough or wrong type) or I don't pick up on their signals.
The other more common problem is, everyone has different likes and responses to different types of stimuli.
Karen1, if I can imagine BB would melt to something I would do, I give it a try.
Quote: Lack of Frequent Erections Infrequent erections deprive the penis of oxygen-rich blood. Without daily erections, collagen production increases and eventually may form a tough tissue that interferes with blood flow. The spontaneous erections men have while sleeping or awake may be a natural protection against this process.
Gotta keep those morning ( other times of the day) woodies coming.
And BB thinks they are a pain the ?????.
Well Lostgal, I see where some of the situations that contribute to ED, I had to a lesser degree and thought, "Not to night" too many problems to deal with.
The job loss and back problems caused enough problems to make me have a lower sex drive at times. The problems made it more difficult to overcome BB's resistance and lowered my confidence level at the time.
I looked at the It's a guy thing and just from the description, I don't think it would resonate with me or H.
Did you ever read, oh shoot, what is it called....What could he be thinking? perhaps.. Anyway, the theory goes that some men have "bridge" brains which bridge the gap between feminine and masculine. I sortof suggested this idea to H but stopped when he became more and more horrified at what he thought I was suggesting. (and me in my (former) meanness, may have been suggesting just that)
At this point, I *cannot* bring home any books that may make him feel like "less" of a man.
Oh shoot, I guess I'll just get it from the library and see what it says. But you can bet I will not be scribbling in the margins.
*clears throat*(on second thought that may not be wise either)
well, H never liked, did mornings either.
Given enough time to prepare for the day, I recal that as being a wonderful way to start the day.
back, job loss, smoking, drinking, sence of self, so many things interfere. As a wife, you try to make it all better, cooking and being sympathetic and all, yet there comes a time when damn, youre just facilitating a spoiled sulking kid (For some reason I find myself doing a lot of reflecting at my situation atm where I'm the sulking kid! Was this the friggin pep talk I needed for myself? Can I truly say my pitty party is over? Why can't I believe that? Well for the next 20 min anyhow.)
Pity me that the heart is slow to learn
What the swift mind beholds at every turn.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
Mornings, afternoon, instead of dinner, after dinner, before bed time, after we were in bed, twice on Sunday, and some hand jobs at the drive-in-movie, Who ME?????
Quote: (For some reason I find myself doing a lot of reflecting at my situation ATM where I'm the sulking kid!
Well, given your set of circumstances and your H, his set of abilities and in abilities to migrate towards something that works for the two of you, is it sulking or feeling a real loss, or feelings because you can see something that your H doesn't have the ability to imagine.???
I don't see what is so difficult about washing someones back and hugging them. Some times life is like Corrie's tag line You can't see something till you can see it.
I can imagine there are losses you both feel/miss.
I have been marking [my] books since.
