Michele, I made a mistake the first time I typed this and it is posted as a new topic, rather than under this heading. Please bear with me, if you've already read it once. I will try to be brief, but also give you enough info to try and help. My question first - I'm wondering if using the DB tecniques can reach someone who has a sexual addiction and is trying to run away from his problems?? Here is my situation - married 11 yrs (been tog for 13). Our r starteed as an A (not something I'm proud of) at the end of his first m. Have two sons - 5 & 7. We moved across country so he could get the job of a lifetime. We are both 46. After the move he started expressing thoughts I know now are typical of a MLC. I made the usual mistakes of pleading, etc.. thinking he wanted to feel needed. He left last Nov. - wanted time to think. I confronted him about whether he was having an affair and the answer was yes (now know the real reason for leaving). I've since discovered and have read both DB and DR and have backed off, for the past several months. He regularly visits he kids and I've ried to have the PMA and have kept busy with my activities. He is going to c and is on antidep to tx his clinical depression, which seems to be working now. It seems like he is popping his head out of his hole periodically and is testing the waters, gets a positive response from me and then he goes under again. I am feeling stuck. He and I have talked about if I tell him he is needed or if I act like I can handle verything that either approach seems to make him run. SO.....right now...again I feel stuck and that the circumstances are overwhelming with the odds not in my favor. There seems to be so many layers to the situation - MLC, clin dep, ?? of sexual addiction and now an A that has lasted about 10 mo ("because we can have fun and a r should always be fun/he admits he is scared to be by himself). I think he has some degree of s addiction because during the course of all of this he admitted to having affairs of varying lengths throughout his first m and ours - in addition i think he views porn on the internet. What a mess. I think I'm at the point of needing to try he LRT, but don't really want to lose him for a variety of reasons. any suggestions would be most appreciated.....thanks in advance. Reed
