This slowdown also gives people like me time to catch up and compose replies that haven't already been posted.
This meddling sounds exactly like a kid going to the proper parent because they know who usually gives the answer they really want, or asking both parents to see which one gives them the best answer.
I have had some practice dealing with MIL meddling. MIL acts like an extra mother at times, asking kids to put on sweaters, or do homework, or other assignments. In some cases this is fine, such as when neither parent is nearby, but it can require careful negotiations to convince MIL that it is ok if they continue what they are doing for another 10 minutes if the task is not urgent. It is getting better recently, MIL will now sometimes seek me out if she thinks the kids should do something, since she has learned that if I ask the kids to do something, the kids don't ignore her, the kids don't ignore me, the task usually gets done sooner, and there is confirmation that I am the parent, and there is less stress generated for all of us.
Who is footing the remodeling bill? If MIL does not foot bill, or is not present at the time the order is placed, let her talk. Just be aware you may have to talk your W out from under the influence sometimes. If this is a pattern you might start telling her you haven't decided yet, or haven't placed the order yet, or possibly just ask questions about why she wants the change and listen to her feelings about it so that once she feels she has been heard she might not rush as quickly to convert your W. Another tactic you could try if MIL repeats this often enough, tell her you will talk it over with your W. Then get there first to present her concern including your opinion, that way, your W does not end up agreeing with MIL without knowing your position on the subject.
