Your help right now has to be to focus on doing something positive for yourself. As much as you want to show W how much hurt she is causing herself and you, she won't see it if you show her. As much as you want to show W active DBing, you've got to do it for yourself. W will see it when it matters, she doesn't have to see every little thing you do or try.
The important thing is to get yourself into a position where you are no longer "needy" when you are around her. You'll be okay, you can't make it okay for W, she has to walk through the fire she's started herself. Take care of yourself so you are a strong, cool, soothing person that she realizes she wants to be with when she gets through the fire of the OP. It sucks that W is chosing more damage rather than to start healing. If you try to prevent her or stop her from doing any of this, she'll never learn. Take care of yourself so you are in a position to take care of her when she is ready for you to.
