The counseling session went OK, I suppose. I mostly realized how much I love my wife. I can talk about everything very calmly, but when I discuss why I love her, I begin to break down and cry. Nothing, not even talking about the affair she's having, does that to me.
Things got worse from there.
I took my wife shopping. On the way, she asked me about what went on. I told her, then she confided some of what she told the counseler herself. The upshot of it is that she loves the OP, doesn't trust I could change, was near-suicidal because of our marriage, and will not take a chance to go through that again.
Oh, and (to reinterate) that she loves the OP.
She's heard about a sort of quick-'n-easy divorce service and wants to get things underway ASAP. To her, this will alleviate the suffering she's undergoing now.
So far, so bad.
Then I began to get funny suggestions, like "maybe you should visit your family for the holidays"
She had stated that she really wanted to spend them with me.
When I asked her if she had plans, she lied and said "no."
Then she came out with it: she's going to invite the OP for Thanksgiving dinner, and she wants me to join in the festivities.
I told her no.
Now I feel like total sh*t. I dropped her off, drove around half the night, then wrote a load of nonsense in a journal before going to bed. I wouldn't have been able to sleep, but had a few drinks (very unusual for me when I'm in a bad mood), which helped.
I did not answer her phone calls, and simply text-messaged her that I am hurt and want to be alone.
I need help. I should have prepared to handle this. But I got my hopes up, and now I'm kicked in the teeth.
Anybody? I'm feeling very sick now and have to get a handle on things.
