This therapist has been the first one my wife chose; I picked out the others and asked her if they sounded good. So I'm hoping that the third time is charmed, if only just a little bit.
He is seeing us separately at first. I imagine that it has a lot to do with the idea of getting a more honest response out of both of us, which is really not a necessary strategem at this point: my wife is very honest with me about her hopelessness in this marriage and her feelings for OP, so I can't imagine her confiding with the therapist much more that a more detailed substantiation to these things. (And I'm probably wrong, too. Things might be worse than I think. I'm often surprised by the depth of her unhappiness.)
Her turn is over. She's said very little about it, other than to say she was more upset afterwards than she expected. She's been slightly disengaged from me since, but that could be part of the normal up and down cycle we seem to go through with this.
She has asked me about my feelings on my impending visit, in particular quizzing me about being nervous.
(What I can be nervous about, I don't know. Divorce papers served on the couch?)
So now it's my turn. I have to admit that I'm not all that hopeful. The best thing would be if he could give me some insight into how to improve the kinds of things I've been working on. Other than that, I expect that his time with me will simply tell him that unlike my wife, I'd like to work on re-building our disintegrated marriage and that I'm not about to give up on that wish any time soon.
