Thought I would write here to ease some anxiety. There is something in me that feels better when I relate what's going on (and part that feels worse, unfortunately.)

I see now, after reading so many other posts (which incidentally is ruining my eyesight), that I really did get my hopes up far and beyond what the situation called for.

Although my wife said she was calling it off with the OP, I should have known that her feelings about him weren't going to change overnight. Nor would her feelings about me.

What leads me to being overly hopeful is that my wife constantly maintains that she loves me - she's very vocal about this, and adds superlatives to the basic statement all the time.

Now, either she is trying to convince herself about this (although at this stage, the only reason why would be that she feels sorry for me) or she really feels it.

I've been assuming the second.

So, because of that, deep down I've been figuring that she doesn't really want to leave, and that either the OP or other situations are leading her in that direction.

I haven't seemed to hear her when she says how much she's wanted to fly the coop, and for how long this has been going on.

The fact that she's now going to a professional (after so long of refusing to do so) seems like she is looking for support for her decision to go.

Also, now that I know that the OP is not out of the picture, I feel like the situation is back to where it was months ago.

However, the changes - the fact that I have insight into what I was doing that hurt her, the fact that she said that she was considering the "impossibility" of us being together again, the fact that we spend a lot of good, non-relationship-dissection time together - do seem to have come from my enactment of some of the DB principles.

So I have very mixed emotions about what's going on now. Hence the anxiety.

Now, it seems that the whole "get a life" idea has the side-effect of lessening that, and I've experienced the benefits of throwing myself into my work more.

But once again, it seems like I'm at a critical juncture. Or am I making far too much of everything?