The important thing for you is to figure out what YOU want, and start working for it. DO NOt waste any time wondering why W is involved with OP. There will be a time to delve into that, but not until well after you have established yourself, and started taking action to change some things about yourself that you know get a negative response from W.
You can not fix your M by analyzying her R with OP. Even though she is probably getting some emotional need filled by OP, you won't figure out what it is that way. You have to look at yourself and your W.
Figure out what her Primary LL is and what some of her secondary LL might be. Analyze what you do that meets her LLs, and what keeps you from meeting them.
I'm not sure I did a good job keeping my old sitch up to date, but I do know I got a lot of good advice and support. I think my W was seeing OM for more than a year - while still technically still living with me. It wasn't easy, but with God's help, I not only survived, but am much stronger and better for it. I'm still waiting for W to benefit from her experience, but I'm confident that's a chapter that has yet to be written in my story.
