Need advice on OP visit! Crisis point?

[cat03]

...I'm not sure that we should think that such a thing is necessary. What is 'rock bottom'? Does one need to end up living on the streets, or as a drunk, or bankrupted, or institutionalized to reach a point where you gain insight? There are some things you don't come back from

By reaching rock bottom we mean mentally, not physically. Rock bottom is when a person finally sees that the distractions they used to cover up their hurt (affairs, drinking,drugs, etc) are useless, when they actually turn around and see the wake of the disaster they've created, when the stuff they used to numb their minds leads them nowhere good and they realize "what have I been doing?"

Unless that happens the WAS are still in the "happy" fog, where their lies and bandaids (OP, crazy life style) don't let them see the truth of the sitch, the hurt they are creating, the idiocy of their means.

I just don't know exactly how to take the advice to 'detach' while remaining internally committed to being there for her out of love.

By detaching we don't mean abandon all hope and effort, we mean detach from the poisonous behavior of the WAS, to not let their detrimental and negative mental attitude drag us down, to become observants and not get hung up on everything the WAS says, to understand that they have to come out of it on their own and that we can't carry their burdens for them as much as we'd like to .

It means as you said:

...not allowing her or this situation to spiral me down to hell