Hi Michelle-
I've started reading DR for the second time and got to Step #2-Know what you want. I found myself adding to my first list thinking I still wasn't clear enough. Could you let me know if I still need to break it down further and be more specific?

1. I want us to communicate better. For him to listen to me and look at me in the face and block out every thing else (TV). This would make me feel very special. And he would ask me if I wanted his opinion before he gives it. It'd be nice if he started the talks sometimes but that's not necessary. Just that when I start them he doesn't give a heavy sigh meaning, "Here we go again". His attitude would be more than happy to give me the time of day to listen to what I have to say.

2. I want to share the finances like we are doing now. This procedure we are forced into by the courts has been very good as far as I'm concerned. (See, he was told to move out by November 1). Before I started working in May, I stayed home to raise the kids for 11 years and took care of all the finances. He never had the slightest idea how frustrating a job that was till he started living on his own. Now he sees how tough it was trying to figure out what to pay when. He was the type to spend any extra money we had & I always believed we should have a savings account. If we could handle finances together, now that he is aware of what it entails, I would like that.

3. I want the intimacy to be there on a daily basis. And it doesn't always have to lead to sex every night. I want it to be more sincere - not just a swat on the butt as he walks by or grabbing my chest when he wanted. Honest affection, a touch on the shoulder, a wink would even thrill me. Sitting next to each other on the couch sharing popcorn and a movie would be great.

Do you think I need to be more specific yet or can I go on to Step 4. I have to skip Step 3 (even though I did read it) cause he is sure a divorce is what he wants.

Thanks again for taking time out of your busy day to give me some input. It is greatly appreciated!!