Communication breakdown is always the issue when a marriage is falling apart and an affair comes into play. I too wish my H would have come to me and actually talked about the "unhappiness" he felt, especially when I tried to discuss the issues I knew we had with intimacy and closeness in these past 4 years. However, my H will even say that he would have just shrugged it off as being "busy, living a crazy life commuting, too much on the plate right now" and would have never discussed it anyway. He just didn't want to face any confrontations about it all so avoided communication about the emotional aspect of our marriage for years! Now since discovery, all he wants is to put the "apples back in the apple cart", get back to the way it was before the affair! And we all know that without working on the relationship with me, that will not happen!!! We cannot go backwards, putting it all back in place! That life is long gone! But there can be a new life together if we "work" at it!! VC - your H must break off the EA before you will ever be able to move forward, together. Unless he does that, then you need to do what is best for YOU!!! Please focus on what you need right now.....be it getting out with friends, spending time with your extended family, starting a new hobby, doing something you have put off since H didn't want to do it! Me: I am heading to NYC for the first time with my best friend from high school for a weekend of sightseeing and fun!!!! We are sharing a room down on Broadway!!! I have always wanted to go but couldn't get H to ever take the time or even get interested in going so....I will go without him!!! I am so excited! So....work on YOU! Easier said than done but it is the only way to make YOU happy again! And remember, if God brings you to it, He will bring you through it!!!
