thanks, whatsis, I needed a little encouragement today. I need to get off my sad behind and do some of the things that everyone else is doing to improve themselves. I just read through your sitch, and I must say your are a noble man of good character, which is what I always said my H was before his EA. That is one of the things that hurts so much, I never thought he was capable of such deceit and would never harm us in any way. I feel for you, because whether the OP is a man or woman, it is still an A and the bond of a same sex affair is probably very E. Maybe it's even more E based. I don't know. My H seems to be very E attached to the OW. Isn't there some way to break this emotional bond? Is this DBing going to help our S's realize they should be emotionally bonded to us, not to some OP? I am afraid my H thinks he is somehow obligated to OW, because he says he didn't at first tell her he was M. And when he did she wanted to break it off, but he begged her not to. So, I don't know if he can or wants to break it. Of course, I don't know why he can say that someone with an EX deserves any more of his concern and regard than his true family. I guess he wants to put me in the place she was in, divorced with an EX who cheated. How screwed up is that? Of course, I am just thinking these thoughts and they may or may not be what is in his head, but I wish the fog lifts soon, and he sees just what damage he has really done. I wish she would go back to her EX, my H says he wants her back, but he lies, anyway. It's like he's telling me that she wants my H more than her own H.
