What is this thing with their selective memory? My H told me too, that the whole marriage has been awful. But so many times the past few weeks, I have talked about something fun we all did together, and he will laugh and say it was fun, or we will laugh about things that have happend in the past. So, where do they get off saying a WHOLE M was bad? I guess that is the whole weird fog thing. I agree with you F4mM, we should not blame ourselves for everything that has gone wrong, like I did when I first found out about OW. I took all the blame on myself with him, but now I know better. I am trying so hard with God's help to make things happier around the house. I am working on going to work (a sore spot with H), not arguing with him, letting him make decisions about things around the house. I am not going to give him an ultimatum, because I think in his stubbornness, he might take that as a way to stop working on us and take the "easy" way out. I truly believe in saving my marriage is something that is in God's will, and I know that He hates divorce, so I must stick in there as long as it takes. I would rather suffer for doing what's right, than to suffer for doing what's wrong. I have to believe that I can win my H back, by being the best wife and woman I can be for him and for us. These EA's are very powerful, and I guess they develop a bond, something they maybe don't feel they have with us. Maybe something we need to get back, I don't know. I don't know if my H has taken the EA to the next step, but I hope he has at least been honest about that. It does kind of make you sick to think that your H thought of his EA as a "supplement" to the marriage. Yikes! Do they think we buy such drivel? So, you keep posting, we all need to see what is helping each other to get through this. God Bless Us All! L
