I hope to God that your lawyer finds something in the phone records...then it will be interesting to see what he says and does. He will be squirming like a worm on a fish hook.
When you go to the mediation - look sensational, not too sexy, but really good. Get your stuffed laid out the night before so you won't rush yourself. Do a great job with the hair and makeup. If possible, wear something he has not seen you in before. When you go in remain calm and upbeat. Don't let him get the upper hand over you. You'll look at him in a different light and probably not recognize him.
BUT>>>
Do not let him sweet talk you out of what you deserve. ...you'll kick yourself for being too kind.
I wish I had forced my X to sell the house, especially since she moved in. He paid me off, but in a few years that house will bring in some really serious cash.
When and if it gets tough, always be a lady...don't cry, raise your voice, or be scared. It is a business now. Being too kind with the community property at this point will not bring him back. If he wants to come back at a later time in the future, you get one household account; then everything will be together again. But if XH does not come back - TRUST ME, PLEASE!!!!you will regret later that you gave up more to him than he deserves on an empty possibilty that he "MIGHT" some day come back.
I really hope things work out for you...I love happy endings - but sometimes it doesn't happen and we have to be prepared.
Let him wonder what you are doing now - but don't tell him. Let him look at you and wonder why you don't look like a train wreck. Let him wonder why you look so happy. Let him wonder why this hasn't made you into melted swiss cheese. Just let him wonder...
When it's over, thank the mediator, smile and if you agree on everything, smile and wish the XH well, walk out with your head held high and don't let anyone see any reaction other than happiness from you. Then, if you are upset, wait until you get into the car and pull away before you let out any anger or tears. Let him wonder why you feel like this D was the best thing that has ever happened to you.