I’ve read both DB and DR and have a question that I don’t think you’ve addressed. In my research I’ve discovered that there are 3 types of affairs: 1) The bridge affair; 2) the self-serving affair; and 3) the repair affair.
Bridge - The bridge affair is a bridge out of the marriage-the death of the marital relationship. The purpose finding a new partner is to leave the marriage while avoiding the confrontation of marital problems. When your partner is having a bridge affair you will notice, if you let yourself, a change in your partner's attitude. If you confront the person at this stage, either you will be targeted as the problem or he or she will lie or deny anything and everything, which will confuse, confound and temporarily help you to deny your intuition and suspicions. Meanwhile, the betrayer is readying for a transition out of the relationship.
I think it’s obvious that 2 & 3 are repairable, 2 being a little more difficult than 3. Is there any hope for the Bridge affair? I'm certain this is the type my W is engaged in. She’s not the self-serving type and if it were a repair affair she wouldn’t be seeking D. It sounds like once this thing has gone to the attorneys the W wants out and that’s that.
