I've read Divorce Busting, Getting Through..., and Divorce Remedy--three excellent books, by the way. Not only have they made a difference in my marriage, but also in the way I interact with everyone else in my life.
My husband told me (almost 2 months ago) that he was miserable and that he loved me but didn't know if he wanted to be with me any more. I was devastated, but found this message board and got a copy of Divorce Busting. I immediately started applying the principles in the book, took responsibility for my contributions to our problems and prayed. I also started seeing a counselor, and I am now seeing definite improvements.
In Divorce Remedy, you talk about how for men, sex is a way to feel emotionally connected to their wives. I've also seen this addressed in other threads here, buy I've not seen my particular situation discussed. My question is whether men distinguish between forms of sex. When all this started, we were not having sex at all. I would try to initiate, and was turned down; in fact, he wouldn't even let me touch him casually. This progressed to oral sex; and for a long time (in the last few weeks, that is) he was only interested in oral sex (giving and receiving) and sometimes touching each other. Occasionally, intercourse would happen. Intercourse has been much more frequent lately, but it is still mostly oral sex. This isn't really a problem for me (mostly because I've seen intercourse increase), but I have still been struggling with the fear that he has been placating me. (My counselor says that is unlikely he is doing that.)
So back to my question. Do men distinguish between forms of sex with their wives? Does any form of sexual contact with their wives serve to make them feel emotionally connected with their wives? (Or am I just making a bigger deal out of this than I should?)
