I recently finished reading Divorce Remedy, and have of course read DBing.
In your books, you touched on 'healing' from pain and betrayal within the M. Whether wrong or right, I initiated a separation from my H 1 1/2 years ago (no OM). I was feeling alone and overwhelmed with 3 1/2 yr. old twins. I felt like I was getting no support and I was extremely hurt and angry. With time, I was able to 'get back on track' and my desire to heal our M became first and foremost in my mind...My H and I were getting along wonderfully. I also did alot of work on myself and felt I had the 'tools' to reconcile. However at this time, my H was six months into a R with an OW (and still is). He does not want a D, yet doesn't 'know' if he'll ever be able to forgive me for the betrayal of the separation. I have tried being loving, supportive and a 'friend' (for 6 months) but that hasn't accomplished a thing. Your books say through a loving environment pain often lessens. Not in my case...my H is stuck in the past and doesn't seem to be taking responsibility in the least for our situation.
I am at the point I'm simply getting on with my life. I'm going to try the LRT and not initiate anything. However, I know he will see my not inviting him to family gatherings, etc.(which he is always included in), as me being immature and 'punishing' him because things are not going my way. Will this add to his feelings of betrayal, or could this shake him up so he'll 'get it'.
I am one of those people who are afraid of making matters worse. Any advice would be much appreciated!
