I won't trouble you with too much of the my story except to say I have been on the board for over a year, my H is a MLCer and has been living with his OW now for about 18 months. I have read both your books.
My H. has recently reconnected with his teenage children, one better than the other. He was absent from our lives completely for the better part of one year. He is making baby steps in my direction. He phones about something specific than will talk generally about himself and his work. He includes me in meals out with the children, and has even taken me out on my own for lunch once.
My problem is this. I have great trouble in identifying 'doing what works'. The events of the last 18 months have shaken my confidence profoundly and I hesitate trying something new in case it is the wrong thing and I go backwards instead of forwards.
Also I seem to have a total inability to see what I am doing right now which has caused him to be more open and friendly towards me. I just can't identify it. It is almost as if I need a check list of things to try. And another check list of things of things I am might be doing right now.
