I have posted in the Newcomers(In need of immediate help) section but am not getting the responses I had hoped for. I have read both DB and DR and am still a little confused on what to do. I'm not sure you are still reading this forum, but hopefully you are.
I got the classic "I love you, you're my best friend, but I haven't felt loved, so I want a divorce" bomb. I will admit that intimacy has been a problem but only because I was pushed away quite a few times and because of a lack of communication, we were waiting for each other to make the next move. Well I never thought the next move was the Dreaded D. But that is where it seems we are headed. I got my papers served to me this past Sunday. Even God rested on Sunday!!! I have been trying to keep a PMA while using the LRT. We are still in the same house, which is good but I am still dealing w/ her alien most of the time.
I've concentrating on myself lately and have done alot of soul searching. I have been doing alot of weightlifting (which I think is driving my W up the wall because I only did it sparingly in the past) and trying to better myself w/ things that I know that need improving, such as being neater around the house. I have also become alot closer w/ our dog than in the past. I guess by doing these things I was hoping to show my w that I could change.
Unfortunately, I am not getting any feedback from my W. The only time that we talk is in the AM. At times she is very receptive to our talks(normally about the dog who has been sick lately) and other times she is not receptive at all. But most times I have to initiate the conversation. I normally try to give her her space in the PM. She has been staying out later than usual on the weekends and she doesn't tell me where she is going and I never question her. Every now and then she will do something for me that is unexpected such as folding my clothes for me, or getting something for me at the store. So I am sure that these are good signs. But other times she won't even look at me or she will make disgusted noises at me when crossing each other in the hallway.
I feel that time is against me. I will have my lawyer drag this D out for as long as he can but I don't know how much time it will take. MY major goal right now is to get back to being friends and from there we can get back to being lovers but that is a long time away I feel. But I am so confused. Do I continue to lift weights knowing that it really bothers her???? Do I just totally stay away from her and give her all the space that she needs????? Should I give her a Dr. Dobson "Freedom Letter"???? Please I need help immediately. Thanks in advance.....Helpless
P.S. Sorry about my Handler name I didn't know about the rules of a positive name but I do have a positive outlook on myself now.
