In follow-up to my post of 10/2, my H and I have since talked.
I've discovered he is more messed up that I thought. He said he had not talked about our R because he is so messed up in his mind that he doesn't know what he wants. He knows he doesn't want a D but he doesn't know if he can come home or just wants to be alone. He finally came to the conclusion that he needs professional help to assist him sort things out in his head. He says that this past year has been horrible for him. All he tries to do is stay busy so he doesn't have to think. He says that he still loves me but that he can't set aside the marital issues which brought us to the separation. He's afraid that nothing would change if he came home. He was in tears and very upset throughout the conversation.
I listened carefully and told him that I was very pleased that he was finally considering therapy. I told him that I sought help early on and that I feel better about myself and the future. He commented that I was obviously smarter than him to have done that early on.
He told me that he was going to go to a therapist that had been recommended. That he wasn't very happy about having to do this but knew it was necessary.
I stressed the need to pick a good therapist that would help him and not add to his confusion. He said that he had.
I feel like this is a major breakthrough although I don't know what the outcome will be. I just want us to be happy whether it's together or on our own.
