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Emily28 #810991 10/29/06 02:47 PM
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Emily, this is okay.

You don't have to tell him anything and you don't have to give him a chance.

Kevin's a big boy and can find the way on his own.

You're not his Mother.

You do however, have to pray for him.

That won't change.

If it does, it is your heart that has become hardened.

Don't let that happen.

AmyC #810992 10/29/06 04:11 PM
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Emily,

Quote:

If it does, it is your heart that has become hardened.





I struggle with this every day. Prayer is the only way through this. And action.

I didn't say give him a chance and let him do nothing.

You said you would 'consider it' if he did these things.

If he does them, then consider it. Consider does not mean 'yes.'

Hold your ground. It should be at least a year for any changes he implements to take hold.

Your heart will change, in spite of you. Now you're angry, and rightfully so. Now you're frightened, and rightfully so. Eventually, the entrangement will pass and you can see things with a clearer head. If he's a man, he will make the changes necessary in the interim. If not, then you can be satisfied that you gave him all the rope you could.

David


The fires of true love can never be quenched, because the source of its flame is God Himself!
- Shulamith
Tamashii #810993 10/29/06 04:24 PM
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Quote:

If not, then you can be satisfied that you gave him all the rope you could.




Yeah.
And he chose to hang himself.

Tamashii #810994 10/29/06 04:29 PM
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Re: Hardened hearts

Quote:

I struggle with this every day. Prayer is the only way through this. And action.




And attitude.

If you're truly grateful for where God has brought YOU from, it's easier to respect your spouse's journey no matter where it puts you in the meantime.
Yes. Even out in the cold.

A sincere attitude of gratitude will override your flesh and prevent the hardening of your heart.

AmyC #810995 10/29/06 04:33 PM
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Emily28 Offline OP
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Quote:

Yeah.
And he chose to hang himself.




That's how I feel too Amy.

I am not angry with him. I feel sorry for him really.
I want him to be happy, and I want him to be OK.
The only way for me to allow that to POSSIBLY happen for him is to completely let go.
He's is the King of inaction!
I am hoping that a divorce will inspire him.

I've given him a year and I've been his security blanket.
He's gotten another women pregnant, and given me a black eye. . . . . cheated lied and stolen from me.
Broken my heart over and over . . . .
1 year . . . .
I am done.

Maybe years down the road, he will come to me a different person, and it will be a different situation.
Right now, I've come to terms with my own bullshit . . . . and I've been left alone.
It's his turn to face the cold hard truth ALONE . . . and fight his own demons.
. . . In the end it will work out how it was suppose to.
I have faith in that.

This is the right path, I am totally at piece with the decisions I am making.

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