Michele, Your book is in Barnes & Noble where I work and I read it as soon as it got there. I realize now that there really isn't anything that I can do in my situation. I am D and have been for 6 months. Bomb May 00 D March 01. OW was EA from the internet. Major issues with S for about 5 years, job problems, separations due to Navy service and kids in high school. Gave NO indication he was unhappy in our marriage. Refused to work on it because he had been for a long time. Gives me the standard love you not in love, grown apart etc... Only contact now is email about money issues. XH is furious about the settlement of the D. Wanted me to settle and it ended up in court. He really lost big time. He is still not employed after retiring from military after 22 years in July, is having physical problems, BIG TIME Classic Text Book MLC and is living with OW who is so controlling that she is even writing his emails for him. She pays all of the bills. Has convinced him what he has done is the right thing and is trying to win over our 18 and 20 YO kids.
Is there anything you can think of to do except act as if and go on with my life? I still love this guy but I have no respect for the person he has become. He has little to no self respect and justifies that his life is crap because of me. Not because of his actions. Of course he is throughly happy with OW just can't do what he wants to do because of me. Has little contact with family even his kids. No reason to call except S is home and he emails so he doesn't take the chance of talking to me. Is trying to get kids to accept OW and has brought her to every time he has been with them since the D except 1 and he kept that one short. Now wants them to come to Tampa (where he moved)for Xmas so they can get to know her entire family and that is a problem for me.
I understand the DR principles and have use DBing since January 01 when I found this site and read the book. It just did not help because he had his mind made up that he wanted out to pursue this new relationship. I was his only partner and we met at 15 and married at 17 when he went into the Navy. He really is the total oposite of the person I married.
