Kevin called me today. . . . . . I live in a land of cruel confusion. I am trying to tell myself that I wanted it to be over anyway.
He is just so confused. . . and I am moving on. He says he does still love me, etc etc etc. Feels like a guilt trip, it feels like lies, and him trying to use me, for what I don't know. I am so sick of him, so sick.
He calls and gets me crying and upset, and says things I don't think he means, and I never understand why. I try to remain totally objective, but that is hard for me. I want to help the poor guy, I just don't want to risk my face any more than I already have.
Emily, this is a typical cycle of an abusive man. They hurt you, then come around to show you how sweet they are, how much they love you. And then when they get pissed again, they hurt you all over again and the cycle repeats.
Kevin needs help -- the kind you cannot give to him. You can love him and you can even want your marriage to work, but clearly this man needs some SERIOUS help before you can have a healthy relationship.
Quote: Emily, this is a typical cycle of an abusive man. They hurt you, then come around to show you how sweet they are, how much they love you. And then when they get pissed again, they hurt you all over again and the cycle repeats.
Kevin needs help -- the kind you cannot give to him. You can love him and you can even want your marriage to work, but clearly this man needs some SERIOUS help before you can have a healthy relationship.
Did you read this Emily?
Quote: Emily, this is a typical cycle of an abusive man. They hurt you, then come around to show you how sweet they are, how much they love you. And then when they get pissed again, they hurt you all over again and the cycle repeats.
Kevin needs help -- the kind you cannot give to him. You can love him and you can even want your marriage to work, but clearly this man needs some SERIOUS help before you can have a healthy relationship.
It continues ....
Quote: Emily, this is a typical cycle of an abusive man. They hurt you, then come around to show you how sweet they are, how much they love you. And then when they get pissed again, they hurt you all over again and the cycle repeats.
Kevin needs help -- the kind you cannot give to him. You can love him and you can even want your marriage to work, but clearly this man needs some SERIOUS help before you can have a healthy relationship.
This is a cycle that cannot be broken by you. Until you detach from it and let him figure out what he needs. You have done your part. He needs help. I know it hurts because despite the damage he has done to you physically and mentally - you still care.
Right now the best thing you can do is urge him to go get help and to really just leave you alone right now.
I sure did read that! I told him he needed to get his [censored] straight before he could do ANYTHING. I told him I didn't want us together, and he shouldn't do it for me or OW . . . .but that he had two children soon to be three that he needed to do it for. I told him I would be his friend and I would try to help him through it, I told him I would always listen to him, even though I don't want to see him in person. I tried to tell him that he needed help, that no one of the people in his life right now can give.
I don't know if the police have the warrent out yet or not. I know the report was suppose to get filed on Monday. I haven't heard anything though . . . . .
I don't want to sound condescending, but I am proud of you Emily. I truly hope your H gets the help he needs. Your offering to be his friend is noble and I hope he appreciates that. Just be sure to protect yourself and not get sucked into anything.
Keep working on you Emily. Keep plotting your own course. Keep learning from your past - not only your mistakes, but also from the good things you have done in life. This incident obviously caused distraction for you, do what you need to do with it - and then keep moving forward!
((((((((Emily))))))))
You have come very far in this journey. Keep it going.
Kevin called me this morning. So upset and confused. I had told him that I was going to file for divorce, because I am simply done. Ready for it to be over! He said HE wouldn't sign it if I filed. He went on about how he didn't want a divorce. I told him it didn't work like that. . . he couldn't just expect to live with her and have a family there and just stay married to me. He said he is trying to get medical so that he can go to the doctors because he thinks he's "crazy" I almost have to agree. I tried to help him calm down. I told him I wouldn't file right now, poor guy has enough stress, but I tried to make it clear that we are over.
