Quote: The officer is coming by a little later to file the report. He said that Kevin will probably get a fine and probation. . . . but it will go on his record that he has a history of violence. That won't look good in court. Emily someone will contact you before court. You can ask that he be required to attend anger management classes and the judge might make that part of the probation requirements. Then, if he doesn't go...it's right to jail for however long he is on probation. By the way, the cops don't know what the judge is going to do, they only tell you what they see MOST of the time. You're not like others. We're going to take this one to another Judge .
I did do something. I called my parents and they came over and helped me sort out the whole mess. Good job. I'm very proud of you. My poor Dad cried about it. . . . that's what I didn't want to see. I didn't want to see my parents hurt because of what has happened. They would have been more hurt if you had not called, though, and something worse happened. It breaks my heart.
keeping you n my prayers this weekend, you are doing the right thing, it must hurt right now to do this but I'm so glad you did honey, he needs to face up the consequences to his actions.
Hugs)))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Please, get a restraining order against him, as well. Depending on the laws in your county, it could be from 100 feet or 1000 feet he has to stay away from you. Can anyone stay with you for a couple of days?
Remember, you filed b/c you were afraid and in fear of your life, as well as the kids. Very important termin- ology for the courts.
Quote: He said if I called the cops on him he'd say it was all my fault (I.E. I swung on him first, etc.) which is simply not the truth.
Oh, right. So now he's JUSTIFIED to hit you? What a piece of garbage. Emily, even if you pushed him to the ground he STILL can't hit you. Period.
Quote: I know I should probably file a police report but then everyone in town will know that I got beat up. . . . I'm just scared about the whole town talking about me.
Um, the 'whole town' isn't living YOUR life, nor is the "whole town" doing anything to help you stay safe. You need to take care of yourself and forget what others pitiful thoughts might be. They are losers if they get off on your suffering.
I'm glad you did call the police! YOU are a very smart and brave woman!
Well I ended up going to the ER lastnight. Per the advice of the police officer and a friend of a friend who happens to be a social worker.
They gave me a tetnus shot, did a CAT scan to make sure nothing was broken and said I should have had stitches, but it was too late at that point.
It's been scary, but it's definately GOOD. I would feel much worse if I hadn't done this.
Amy I remember you saying in most states they press the charges regaurdless . . . well PA is most definately one of those states.
The officer also told me that I can have a PFA (restraining order) put on him AND anyone who would call on his behalf (I.E. Cassie) he also said because they might hook Kevin with an endangering of minors charge because both the kids were home . . . .
Oh, Emily... I am so sorry that you had to experience this abuse from your H. I grew up in a rather physically abusive situation and I understand how demeaning it can feel to be hit as if you were a dog( not that I would hit mine...). You are a wonderful young woman and never deserve to be touched violently by anyone. I think that if my H had just informed me that he just knocked up the OW I would have certainly done a bit more than yelling. He might well have found himself dodging my cast iron skillet collection. My point is that this sort of informtion would be very difficult to process and most people would likely not respond positively. He had no right to hit you. He is not a man. He will likely do to Cassie all the things that he has done to you and possibly more once his bitterness over what he has lost develops. God help her, she obviously doesn't understand the place where she has put herself. You however have already been helped and now see that you and your girls are more important than that loser and I am so glad for you. If you can limit his access to your kids ( supervised visits) for a while that might be a very good thing as well. Anyhow, I am proud of you. Let your family take care of you now so that you can all heal.
That was a very wise thing to do! How are you feeling?
I would suggest to take a file and keep all of the medical records, perscription labels, bills, etc. plus a copy of your photo in it for future use. Hide it in a secure place. I would also suggest that you don't answer any phone calls from the H, let him leave messages, but, don't erase any of them for future use. This could get more uglier than it already has. Protect yourself...
Keep posting so we know how you are doing, okay? We are here to support you.
Let me give a man's perspective on this. And no, I won't justify him for a second.
A few years ago, I got into an altercation with my wife. I did not lay a hand on her. However, I did get in her face. I slipped, she moved or something, and we ended up bumping heads. She got pis*ed and dialed 911, then quickly hung up. However, the PD console reads out your number and address, and we lived next door to a police substation. Needless to say, the cops were there in a heartbeat. My wife was having dental implants done, and had quite a few caps to cover the work in progress. One fell out, or she took it out, and it appeared to the police that I had knocked her tooth out. In short, I went to jail. They never figured out how I 'knocked' her tooth out without touching her face, but that's beside the point.
The point is that going to jail was good for me and taught me two big lessons:
1.) I was the man and I had a responsibility to keep the situation from escalating.
2.) If the situation DID escalate, I could remove myself from it, and there would be no situation. If there's only one boxer in the ring, there's no fight.
Your husband needs to spend a day or two behind bars. There's a chance it will wake him up.
I never let myself be dragged into that situation again. If my wife started yelling, I went into the other room, or down to the corner. There is no reason for a man to strike you unless he absolutely fears for his life. I mean you'd better be chasing his a** with a chain saw. I doubt this is the case here.
I saw your picture. Behind that mouse is a beautiful young girl. DBing be damned, the line is drawn at violence. Protect yourself and your children first. The situation will eventually settle down, and you can determine if the marriage is salvageable. His behavior through this will speak volumes about his character. Make no hasty decisions, except in the case of self protection. Listen to these people. They are very wise.
God bless you!
Love,
David
The fires of true love can never be quenched, because the source of its flame is God Himself! - Shulamith
I'm doing alright. I went out with a friend yesterday, that was fun. My Mom is all worried about my H losing his job, but I honestly don't care. I don't want him to think this is something he can get away with! I don't have any big plans for today, other than cleaning my house. All of my friends have been calling or e-mailing to make sure I am OK. It's been amazing actually. I don't have anything to say . . . I'll be around.
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