I keep thinking about everything. I keep trying to convince myself to be still and wait this out. BUT I don't want it. I am trying to be still and let God move . . . but what if he has moved . . and it just wasn't ment to be?
I don't know if I "love" Kevin . . . . . anymore. Typical WAS behaviour I know . . . maybe that's what I am becoming.
He called earlier and was in a total FUNK! Grumpy, said he was on his way home, might not get here until tomorrow though . . . etc. He was cranky as all get out. It just put terror in my stomach . . . I am worried about how this time will be spent. I don't even want to see him. I just want him to come take what is his and get out of my life.
I spent the past almost 3 hours talking on the phone . . . . and I'm not getting into any other relationships or anything but it makes me feel like it's wrong to stay in a loveless marriage when I talk to my H for 5 minutes every week . . . and can spend three hours laughing on the phone with someone else.
I was in a good mood with H today . . . and he was nothing but rude and refused to talk at all. GRRRRRR
