Quote: Part of me says it's dead and there's no use beating it further. . . then another part says that it could be brought back.
I feel the same way at times. I go one day where I think everything is ok and then the next it feels like my world has crashed. Don't give up so easily. Tomorrow is another day and I bet you will feel the opposite that you do today. Do as I do, I live for me now (of course and my kids). I don't let my situation run my life. If your H isn't calling, then don't worry about it. I used to think when my H didn't call he was doing things he shouldn't. Now, I realize when he doesn't call it is because he doesn't know what to say to me. It isn't they don't want to talk to us, they don't know what to say to us. My H once told me he was afraid to because he knew I would get on the subject about us and he didn't know how to respond. Even if your H tells you he doesn't want to be with you, just let it go in one ear and out the other. I have heard it a couple times and then all of a sudden my H will say he doesn't know what he wants. He has never told me he was never coming home. He just lives in the present. His comment was right now I like the way my life is.
You have done so well the last couple weeks. You have been so much calmer. Don't let things get you going again. I don't want to say it gets easier with time because it doesn't, it just gets to the point where you can deal with it.
Keep treading water, as long as you keep your head up things will be fine.
