No time for goodbye he said As he faded away Don't put your life in someone's hands Their bound to steal it away Don't hide your mistakes 'Cause they'll find you, burn you Then he said
If you want to get out alive Hold on for your life If you want to get out alive Hold on for your life
This is my last time she said As she faded away It's hard to imagine But one day you'll end up like me Then she said
If you want to get out alive Hold on for your life If you want to get out alive Hold on for your life If you want to get out alive (If you want to get out alive) Hold on for your life (Life) If you want to get out alive (If you want to get out alive) Hold on for your life
If I stay it won't be long Till I'm burning on the inside If I go I can only hope That I make it to the other side If you want to get out alive Hold on for your life If you want to get out alive Hold on for
If you want to get out alive (If you want to get out alive) Hold on for your life If you want to get out alive (If you want to get out alive) Hold on for:
If I stay, it won't be long Till I'm burning on the inside If I go I can only hope That I make it to the other side If I stay, it won't be long Till I'm burning on the inside If I go, if I go
Burning on the inside Burning on the inside Burning on the inside
Quote: Until he changes his address again (which he says he isn't) they route him through and tell him where he has to park. I can tell him he can't stay at my house but he's still "stuck" in town until he goes back out on the road.
He's sending me such completely mixed signals. . . I just don't understand him at all anymore. He tells me he's talked to her. Then he says something about wanting me to beat her up. He says he had a great time here on Thursday. He said something about having "my" sweatshirt and so he "has to come again" . . . .
I just don't get it. Not at all. I asked him about changing his profile back to "in a relationship" His reply? . . . "I thought you wanted to start back at the begining and work our way back up." I wanted to scream BULLSHIT at him . . but resisted. He's says he's not with her. . . and is working on it with me.
I don't know if I want to "work" on it anymore. I'm so confused by him. I don't want to give up . . . if this is just God testing my faith again . . . But I don't want to go down the wrong path.
I'm just so unsure.
-ME
Quote: Cut him loose.
It's the only way to find out what he's really made of.
And save yourself in the process.
-AMY
Quote: I agree with Amy. You do NOT need him to survive, that you will do yourself; you don't need to get love and affection from him- you can get that from your children; you do not need him to help you to be a worthwhile person. You always were and always will be. Give 'em the boot, girl. There are more out there, so I hear. Your H is immature (just like my 43 yr old) and does not deserve the privilege of being called your husband nor does he make much of a role model for your children in the state he is in. I also say cut him loose- you don't need this B***sh*t. None of us do... And another thing-he needs to find another place to stay when he is in town. You owe him NOTHING, not a roof over his muddled little head or the frayed corner of a blanket to sleep under every few weeks when he decides to drop back into your life overnight.
Emily, you can do whatever you need to without this man who has become a boulder tied to your leg. Have you started working on your business plan for your grooming business yet? There are some great sites out there with free business plan formats.I used one years ago for a business class faux business plan I had to create. The plans are not considered always necessary for every type of business, but I learned how helpful they can be in projecting income, growth, expenditures and those kinds of things. This could be a great diversion for you that will only have positive effects your life. I remember reading that some people put together plans years before ever intending to act upon them. Get on with YOUR life. If he comes back once you've successfully done that you'll be in a much better place to consider whether he is worthy of your time.
That said- I know how much easier it is to say than to do sometimes, hence my appearance on this board several months ago. My H is on the way out the door, too and it breaks my heart. I,however; will not succumb to the depression, denial, anger, yada-yada( well maybe the anger for a little while longer...). Experience them, I have and will but I'm trying hard to find the positives in this sitch and build up from them. I think that all of us here can do this and must in order to save ourselves, first in baby steps and then hopefully in leaps and bounds.All is possible through the grace of God.
Amy, at this point I'd give one of my H's nuts in hopes that maybe without the weight he'd be able to get himself back into balance again. I rather doubt that at this point,though.I wonder if he'd even notice that it is gone since it must be very hard to see when one has one's head so incredibly far up his ***. The visualizations do make me smile, I'll admit. And they say that Virginia is for lovers... I'm in Northwestern VA, where are you?
Just dropping by. "Kicking him to the curb" right now may just entail detaching to another level. Your H doesn't know what he wants, who he wants to be with, etc. It is clear he struggles internally. He will go up and down back and forth many many times. The best thing you can do is detach to another level and let him go through what he needs to go through on his own.
It is so tough because we want them to know that we stand for our M - but in that sometimes we feel like they (our WASs) find it easier to walk away from us when we detach - that they erase us from their mind. This may be true, but they also have their mind poisoned by their mixed up view of the past. Part of me feels like they have to distance themselves from us - maybe even forget us for a while - before they start to miss us and what we brought to the M.
Ever hear Crossfade? Check out the song "No Giving Up". I thought it gave a good perspective of the LBSs and how our WASs think "There isn't any other way...".
I love Crossfade Santhony. I'll have to download that song.
I got another paycheck from my H . . . he told me to put it in the bank . . . . so hey, I guess we'll just see.
I'm detached . . . I've accepted (SORT OF) that he and I will never be together again. But I'll try to enjoy the last time he's here (this next weekend may very well be it) and I'm going to try to treat him as I would an old friend. Maybe I don't owe him anything (I.E. a place to stay) but I never turn people away. . . . I'm not making an exception for him, no matter how much wrong he may have done. Who knows he might actually have fun and decide he truly made the right "decision" when he married me. Only time will time. But I expect NOTHING, truly this time
I woke up this morning with divorce on my mind. I felt ready for it to be over.
That was 4 hours ago . . . . now I feel like not giving in, but I just feel like I've already lost that battle and I would just be fighting reality.
I am so unsure of how to proceed. Part of me says it's dead and there's no use beating it further. . . then another part says that it could be brought back. I just don't know what to do. Time will tell . . . I am treading water now . . . just trying to keep my head up. . . prepare for war and make my peace all at once. Who knows what will come next. Next weekend will the a good tell-tale. I still haven't heard from my H . . . not since Sunday, I don't know what's going on . . and that makes me crazy.
Quote: Part of me says it's dead and there's no use beating it further. . . then another part says that it could be brought back.
I feel the same way at times. I go one day where I think everything is ok and then the next it feels like my world has crashed. Don't give up so easily. Tomorrow is another day and I bet you will feel the opposite that you do today. Do as I do, I live for me now (of course and my kids). I don't let my situation run my life. If your H isn't calling, then don't worry about it. I used to think when my H didn't call he was doing things he shouldn't. Now, I realize when he doesn't call it is because he doesn't know what to say to me. It isn't they don't want to talk to us, they don't know what to say to us. My H once told me he was afraid to because he knew I would get on the subject about us and he didn't know how to respond. Even if your H tells you he doesn't want to be with you, just let it go in one ear and out the other. I have heard it a couple times and then all of a sudden my H will say he doesn't know what he wants. He has never told me he was never coming home. He just lives in the present. His comment was right now I like the way my life is.
You have done so well the last couple weeks. You have been so much calmer. Don't let things get you going again. I don't want to say it gets easier with time because it doesn't, it just gets to the point where you can deal with it.
Keep treading water, as long as you keep your head up things will be fine.
