Hi Everyone! With all the tragedy going on I hate to focus too much on myself, but need some input. Update: Been divorced 4 yrs, ex still lives with OW, but our hatewall is down and we have become casual friends. Have had lunch together several times, with last time being last week. We even had a quick hug goodbye and ex even gave me quick playful pinch on the bottom! Things slowly progressing as hoped.. I have two of my four children in the military. After Tuesday tragedy, one of them got a quick phone call to me. I, of course, emailed my ex and told him and stated I would let him know of any further contact and would hope he would do the same. Ex is career military and knows my feelings, etc about all of this stuff. The next day, I got a very brief impersonal email that basically said he had not heard of either son. That was it. What did I learn?? That my expectations were way off base! I expected him to call me the night of the tragedy and we would worry together about the boys!! I expected him to act like my husband, and not an ex spouse, who lives with OW and is being comforted by her!. I wanted him to feel that emotional connection that obviously isn't there with me. His reaction caught me totally off guard, and I don't know how to handle his lack of emotional support--this isn't about marriage restoration right now. This is about our two sons probably going to war! I have plenty of friends that can offer emotional support, but its not the same as being with the father of your children at a time like this. I need advice. Do I just come right out and ask for emotional support from him, or just let him go his own way and get through this the best I can without expecting anything from him? With so much other pain and tragedy going on around America, I feel so very selfish asking for advice, but I think the hope of any future reconcilliation is hanging by a thread on the way my ex responds. It just doesn't seem appropriate for me to be setting any goal or formulating a plan right now.
