A brief update on my situation. Our last counseling session was a good one, in that the therapist worked with us on communication issues (I told her one of the things I needed was to improve my relationship skills) and she recommended a book by John Gottman, Why Marriages Suceed or Fail, which I am reading now. I am more comfortable that the therapist may have more on the ball than I thought.
Now for the bad news. I gave my W a copy of the Loves Illusions and Marriage Map section of the Divorce Remedy, and the article on Spending Time Together. The results...NG (not good). W basically said that while the articles had some useful information, they oversimplified the issues, and did not acknowledge that differences in beliefs and values could possibly be the "real" underlying root causes of our marital distress, and as such, solutions that focus on changing behaviors do not really address the issues.
Oh well. A long and typically circular 3 hour discussion ensued (I should have just said..very interesting and changed the subject, but she seemed intent on drawing me in..so like the good fish I am, I took the bait and ended up flopping around on the deck), leaving us both feeling frustrated. Bad move on my part.
