yeah...I agree, they always say "If you love someone, set them free - if they come back, then they really love you... if not, maybe they never did." Or at least they stopped.
Sometimes, I feel that this is what our paths are...to move on. I read somewhere that people come into our lives for reasons, seasons and the long haul. The reason is to know them; the season is only for a while; and the long haul is forever.
Would I take my XH back? That is a very good question... I don't know...would he have changed? would he grow with me? could we forget the past? The past is gone now - Would I be able to go forward with him or would we stagnate and die? People do change, but I quoted a song clip from a group called Big Head Todd and the Monsters:
...our love was once a flame, now I'm just a forgotten name... and I love her yet, she has done me wrong, can I bring her back, she has long gone... and I'll always be her broken-hearted saviour...
I wrote part of this to FarAway...but I think he took it wrong. Of course, I change she into he so it fits my sitch.
It seems we are chasing something here, what it is, does anyone know? The DB book was excellent, but we are past that now...the D came and went...it's time SpikeCharlie... we need to move on or we will constantly be chasing a dream of no return. Life is too precious to waste on anyone that does not see our best interests. Why wait...in hopes that one day XH will realize his mistake? Where does that leave us? Closed off from the rest of the world that keeps on moving.
In my heart...I know that there was a reason for this D. I can't say I know why, but, I do know that I forgive my XH for all the pain and grief that we caused each other; myself included; but - the page has been turned and unless we continue on, we will never know what life has planned for us. It is out of our hands.
I will always, always, love my XH; but he decided to move on and hopefully, every once in a while H will think of me. The good times, the laughing, the fun - time will tell...
But for own sanity, I cannot continue this facade of waiting and hoping H will turn around and come back...
It sounds horrible, but, probably the next time I see XH will be at his funeral...or mine...that will be the last time...and then I'll stop loving him...
But...God has other plans for me now...so whatever he has up His sleeve, I'll be ready and able to proceed.
It is OVER...we are D. XH moved on...and so shall I... it is time...I have to believe this...I'm not anry, sad, bitter, or disgusted...I am at peace right now, everything is calm and God has the wheel...
Hopefully, this will help you...even just a little. Let me know how you are doing...I do care...hopefully I can assure you that we and everyone else here - we will be okay...it will get better...just let it go...don't be afraid...we are all here to support each other. Say your goodbye to XH and let it go...I'm here all the time... let me know what I can do to get you here, where I am...
Love will never die...sometimes it gets packed away, but never forgotten... ...if anything...we learned that life is too, too, precious to let it stagnate...let us go forward...we need to
