Starting from scratch...

[StrongEnough]

Cat- Thanks for the hugs and the prayers! I need all of both that I can get right now!

Sven-

Have you considered that if you just hugged him and you were fully aware that it was manipulation, then isn't it YOU that are the manipulator?

Sorry but you lost me on this one. I am really trying to see where the manipulation on my part came in. If it's so, then perhaps I am missing a big piece of the puzzle here.

You have always amazed me with the stregth, courage and grace that you had throughout your situation. You always seemed to make the best of the worst situations.

For now, I will be using my dinner breaks at work to work on me. I am a huge writer. I need to write it down, see it and refer back to it. Helps keep me sane.

Always- Long time no see! How are things with you? Thanks so much for dropping by. Isn't it amazing how fast time goes by? A year ago we were both posting...........I started DB'ing 2003. I am older now but not much wiser.

I'm sorry I keep saying negative things about myself. I guess when you hear it all the time, you start to truly believe it. My biggest obstacle will be working on my self esteem which is pretty much shot.

All is quiet here on our day off together. H is mad at me for going out for a beer with a co-worker after work last night. (female ofcourse) The first time in almost 8 months I go out (for 30 minutes) with a friend and I am considered selfish. GAL is almost impossible.

Today I work on small goals:
Going through my closets and drawers and getting rid of stuff that doesn't fit me, that I haven't worn or is just old and ratty. Time to start paying more attention to how I look because I know it will directly affect how I feel about myself.

Taking D out shopping tonight for some new hair things. I need to spend some quality time with her and it's something I never get to do.

If I have time, get to the hairdressers.

Thanks again to everyone who stopped by. I appreciate everyone's input.

~SE