Starting from scratch...

[StrongEnough]

Thanks for the input Cat and Sven. I appreciate that you took the time to drop by.

Here's my update:

H came home early from work last night. He wanted to talk. I basically told him that I have had it with his temper and his outbursts. I reminded him of a year and a half ago when I threw him out for the same thing. I basically told him that I want to go home. I don't want to live here anymore.

Naturally, we argued....I won't get into all the details. Basically, he started me off by threatning to file for custody of the kids. He then told me he was done with me and our M. I told him that I no longer wanted to be with him. That for two years now not one thing has changed. His entire argument about the whole thing:
I don't want to move.....I like it here.
More me, me, me and more me.

It was all about HIM. Really made a strong statement to me there. He proceeded to get into calling me names like F*n idiot, irresponsible b*.........you get the picture.

Today things aren't all that much better. He is at work and I worked earlier so atleast we aren't home together. He called me several times at work just to yell at me over nonsense things. He is full of anger and I guess right now I wait it out and see where he directs it.

Even though my parents are seperated, they are pulling together and waiting on word from me. If need be, they can be here in three hours with two U-Hauls to move me, the kids and our belongings out. Unfortunately, my mother is literally sick with worry. She says she is tired of the abuse he puts all of us through and hurting our DD that way was the last straw.

So, I am *trying* to stay calm and in control of myself. Working and taking care of my kids. I am afraid that once the anger subsides he will go back to the guilt tactics. I am basically stuck here with him until the house sells.

Ugh.........

Thanks again for the advice everyone. I knew what I had to do. I knew enough was enough. I guess it just made me feel like so much of a failure that I needed to hear from other people it was still ok.

~SE