YAY!! Congrats, I wish you all the best with the job!
Stay positive....I think H can read your vibes too...it's a BIG deal for your H to turn around and be self-aware, from what you have written about his behavior in the past.
I know you're not sure about what you want in teh M, but for now, you're in it and trying. I think you need to try as hard as possible to know for sure you tried your best.
Try just this one thing, going into the weekend. Just make it a point to have positive moments with H. This worked for me for a while (before I realized I was in a bigger mess than I had thought). You don't have to do anything special, just the normal routine. Stay away from fights. Use a calm, positive, cheery voice. Smile at him and at the kids, etc. Laugh in his presence. give a few compliments and thank yous.
This is SUCH elementary advice....but when I did this, I realized, to my horror, how much of this I had stopped doing....and it made a REALLY big difference that I did.
Even after my H went back into the MLC tunnel....recently he has been saying that he saw that my changes were for real....and he was not receptive to it. That was BIG. So, at least that effort was worth it.
day by day, it will get better and better. Just one day at a time...small nicities and manners....that will get him to put his guard down and reciprocate.
