SE!!!! I was just thinking of you the other day....and hoping for the best in your sitch and hoping moving to NH signaled better days for your family. How is your D's health?

I'm over on the MLC forum....things have taken a crazier turn for me....I was fighting quite a different game than I had thought. Come visit if you have time!

For you...I'm sorry that things still suck. Seems that H made temporary changes, but not the desire or knowledge of REAL changes.

I agree about answering the questions someone else posted about your own changes. I know you worked on them, but time to go back to square one. What are things that you think you could still address that may change the dynamic in your situation?

I know you said that your time with H is so miserable and just "hanging on"....what can you maybe do to jumpstart something new....more positive times between the 2 of you? Perhaps a date night? You said he said that he does not feel wanted. How can you show him that you do?

I know that it's been stressful moving....and letting go of a very serious R that you had when separated. Sometimes we think "let me be critical, b/c this person betrayed me before and now I am leaving something good to go back"....just a thought on my part.

So, it's hard on you. I understand. I think now, more than jumping into fixing your M...you and H just need some good, fun, positive moments together....nothing serious, no goals, no expectations....just relax and learn to enjoy each other's company for a while. Even if it's having a fun time watching a 30-minute show on TV....it's 30 minutes that weren't pure hell. Slowly, I think this can build better times.

A website that helped me (when I thought my sitch was simpler) was the one that talks about love banks (I think marriagebuilders).....it was easy and slow....

Also, like Sven said...what are other, non-M things that would bring you a little more joy in life? Moving is hard...you lose the job and the support system, etc.....so focus on gettnig the joy back in life in other areas for you, and it may give you strength for this.

Also, I think you and H are putting a lot of expectations on things....with the move to make the M better and you both put a lot of effort and sacrafice into it. So, ease up on yourself a bit. Enjoy.