Regarding Ch 5. "Stop Going Down Cheeseless Tunnels"
You mention the theory that people will keep trying the same method "because they're more intent on proving to themselves that they're right". I'm not saying this is never the case but I think there may be another reason and it may help WAS's understand why their spouses don't respond to their pleas for change. FEAR!!!
2 Months ago my W declared our marriage over. She has been telling me for a long time that our R was in trouble but I kept doing more of the same. Not because I didn't care but because I cared so much I was scared to death. Even if the solution was being dangled right in front of me I was too afraid to try it. Why do I think this is so?
3 weeks after the bomb dropped I was on a diver certification course. While 25' under water my primary breather quit on me. The result was I was getting water mixed with air. With every breath I would choke to expel the water from my lungs. Scary stuff for a new diver, I was terrified. The thing is, every diver has a secondary breather and all I had to do was switch to that breather. I knew this even as I was choking. Problem was I was still getting some air through the primary and I was afraid to switch. I can't be positive but I think if my primary had quit completely I would have switched immediately. Can you see the comparison?
There's a thread by Nicky called "For spouses of walk aways". People like Nicky have every right to be upset but please try to understand, your S is not trying to kill your relationship. Could be they're just scared to death.
