Username, You ask whether you should do LRT or tough love. IT depends on 2 things- 1- which one appeals to you more 2- which would be more out of character for you. Whichever is more different is the one you should do. Have you ever set firm boundaries with her before, even on other subjects? If so, don't do tough love. IF she perceives you as controlling, don't do tough love. If she sees you as dependent and needing her, tough love might work. But LRT might work if she expects you to track her down and pursue her. You decide.
I don't neceesarily agree with your therapist's view that since she's got the upper hand, you have to be strong. When one person wants out, whether we like it or not, they do have a certain power. But you get to choose how you respond. Doing the LRT isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength and being mindful of how your actions trigger responses in others.
So in the end, you're the expert. You decide. Michele
