Aly, I'm glad you're reading a lot and trying to change your approach to your marriage. Good for you.
I understand why you are confused. Many people here talk about the importance of backing off. You're wondering if that would be a 180 for you since coldness and distance was a problem. That's a good question. As I described in Step #5- Experiment and Monitor- you need to approach this as a trial and error process. Try something and watch the results. For now, you should experiment with being attentive and see how he responds. I'm cautious about this, but I think you should give it a shot and see what happens. After that, you'll have your answer about the best way to proceed. Michele
