Quote: Schnarch said once a person is in a LD role long enough, the HD person has found other things to validate his/her self-esteem and what they value in the M. There is a shift in what people trust will or won't be there.
I am not saying revenge doesn't occur. I know it does. What I am thinking is people who are not out to get even, are generally fair minded, see things from their and the OP side, I think some of those people just lose trust the change from LD to HL isn't real so why depend on the changes. The changes can disappear anytime... ...Maybe what you call revenge is something like I call selfish or defensiveness or not wanting to be exposed to dissapointment and the related feelings... Lou
well, I don't know that I've found any other way to "validate" myself or whatever, but things have been this way pretty much forever. I'm still hd. just cuz I am. From what I've been reading in all of this "stuff" seems to indicate that *I* should be the LD one...but I'm not. I can't imagine that ever changing.
for a short time, a while back, W made a valiant effort and became "apparently" HD. At first I was shocked...then that changed to "worry". I honestly thought she was sick or something..."could this be the "manic" stage of a manic-depressive episode", I wondered? But in any case, I didn't expect it would last. I couldn't, for the very reasons you state. And they didn't last. was that a self-fulfilling prophecy? did I not react to this change in the right way, showing fear or trepidation, instead of whatever I was supposed to? I don't know... but yeah...don't get your hopes up, and you won't be disappointed. story of my life...
