Re Chrom It wouldn't surprise me at all if many men who were rejected by their W's while the kids were young, reject their W's in turn when the kids get older in some part as a measure of revenge, maybe not even consciously.
chrom, I can only say what I do, feel, or think so am not generalizing.
About the some measure of revenge, well I am not a revenge guy but I am subject to changing priorities, meaning if sex used to be a 3X a week want and sex only happened 2X a month, and I found something else to do to take the place of sex, then if BB suddenly wanted sex 3X a week and I learned to be happy with my way of doing things, maybe I would do the sex thing once or twice a week because I learned to be happy with other things I did to get over wanting sex 3X a week.
What I am emphasizing, don't assume there is revenge before looking at, how did the person adapt during a time of shortage.
Like many here, sex has been in short supply, and gets doled out with some not-so-nice comments. I am in the process of finding something else to do because I don't think or see any changes taking place. I am trying to change my brain chemistry and I am only guessing this process takes place.
So to think of revenge, how about thinking a persons need for sex has dropped. How about thinking the HD person has found other things s/he has elevated on their priority list.
When the 1964 and a 1/2 ford mustangs came out, I wanted one. I don't and haven't wanted one for a long time. What changed in my brain? I am sure it is not revenge, or me using sour grapes model. I say it was a mental shift.
I think people want something for so long and after not getting it, realise they probably won't get it, realize the cost is too high, realize something else can be almost as rewarding.
I am not saying revenge doesn't happen, but want everyone to consider something like substitution's are now higher on a person's want list.
I am to the point where sex cost too much emotionally. I have to find something I can mentally afford.
I hope that helps some women or men by adding to their list of what might have gone wrong and helps to avoid feeling like someone is out to get them or thinking it's payback time.
Crom I think most men, including myself, take rejection VERY personally, and it is a huge blow to our ego when the woman who supposedly loves us more than anything else in the world rejects us for sex. In many men's minds that is one of the primary reasons they got married.
To crazymom, After 20+ years of hearing, "we just did it" "why do you always want sex" (once every 10 days) or Bb saying she is too old for sex or sex is for making babies and she doesnt want any more, sorry, but the part about men taking rejection and just trying again, well maybe we can handel rejection better than some women but I can honestly say {IT HURTS} it sucke. If I had to get married again today to BB (think 5-10 year renewal contract), I would pass.
You see there is love, but rejection and problems suck the life out of that love. Don't down play the importance of sex and a man wanting to feel part of a relationship and I am not talking room mates or borther/sister or lets just be friends relationships.
Without the sex, the bonding, well the M is not what it should be by a long shot.
