Have you compared LL between you and your wife? There are lots of references to them around here and it is a good place to start. Understanding what your partner needs to feel connected is a big step.
There is a wonderful book that describes each LL in great detail, but a bit of searching can provide an overview of each LL.
LL = Love Language
If your local bookstore or library does not have one, look for it on amazon.com by searching for isbn number 1881273156
